Grass Pants Covers E3! – Nintendo Edition

I love the Pikmin jokes.

I always love Nintendo’s conferences; they give the history and concept behind their newest idea. Hearing their reasoning is always fun.

Pikmin 3! Yes! Be right back, folks, selling a kidney to afford this thing at launch. I need my Pikmin fix. Stone Pikmin, what? Whoa giant centipede thing. Really hope we get another kind of Pikmin; Rockmin look kind of derpy. Oh cool, four captains! … But Olimar isn’t here. Totally calling the plot of this game having something to do with rescuing them. Anteater Bulborb! Oh god, creepy dead leaf bugs. Miyamoto has a little plush Pikmin. I love you Nintendo.

Reggie! “It’s all about the games.” Finally someone gets it. Also 23 titles on stage? Damn. Basic Wii U ‘briefing.’ I really love how sleek this thing looks. Youtube, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon video confirmed. More explanation about the social parts of Wii U. Dual-gamepad support confirmed!

Talking about the controller now. Oh cool, the stylus is still here. I’ve always wondered why the triggers were ‘Z’ from the N64 on. And… Wow this is thing’s got a lot going for it. Built-in volume control, rumble, camera/mic, motion controls… This thing is gonna cost a mint.

More MiiVerse stuff. The setup looks clever as hell. Browser-based, support for web-enabled stuff coming after launch. “Old friend”? Oh, Mario. I was hoping for, say, Captain Falcon.

New Super Mario Bros. U revealed! BabyYoshis and flying suits confirmed! Oh are you joking? It has the subpar music from NSMB with the weird pseudo-vocals. Also, Balloon and Bubble babyYoshis. Oh man, a Boo Ring! Boost mode: One guy with a Wii U gamepad can place blocks while people on the WiiMote goes through it normally. I am totally going to get people killed with that feature.

Batman Arkham City? Weird choice. Awkward Harlequin voiceover. “Armored Edition” of Arkham City. Seems like more than a port. British guy! The gamepaud-unique mechanics look pretty cool. Scan the environment or use it to aim things and manage inventories. Being developed by their Montreal studio. Going over Wii U-specific things. “Super mode” called “BAT Mode,” which fills up as you beat up dudes. Remote-controlled Batarang. Explosive Gel, set off by tapping the gel on the gamepad.

Scribblenauts Unlimited! I love you, WB Games. Explorable worlds? Ability to create objects and share them online. Multiplayer and… lore? I’m kind of surprised they’d include that. Looking forward to it, though, loved the original and sequel.

Darksiders 2! That game needs to come out right n- Mass Effect 3?! I wonder if we’re getting the other two as well. Some “Tank! Tank! Tank!” game from Namco. Tekken with… Mario mushroom. Silly. Holy balls, Trine 2! Ninja Gaiden 3! Aliens: Colonial Marines!

“Music and fitness genres.” Oh damnit. He’s talking about the WiiFit reveal from five years back. “Yes, my body was ready.” Okay he’s forgiven. “New peripheral.” The vitality sensor that disappeared a few years back? Wii Fit demonstrations always look so awkward. Also, I could never use a Balance Board; thing looks like it’ll break.

Music games coming up now. “Sing” made by FreeStyle Games. Gamepad shows lyrics, nifty little feature. Speaking of things that always look so awkward… At least the demonstration didn’t last too long.

3DS news! Ouch, poor guy’s joke died horribly. 3DS show coming up tomorrow at 6 PM PST (9 PM EST). Three first party titles! New Super Mario Bros. 2, complete with golden Mario. Golden Flower! Brickblock-Head Mario! Raccoon suit! Red coins. Hate those things. Coming out on August 19th! New Paper Mario! Paper Mario: Sticker Star. Sticker mechanic. Stickers are your attacks, it seems, as well as helping with exploration. Arrives this holiday season. Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon! Multiple mansions, heavier emphasis on ghost-catching action, new kinds of ghosts. Coming out this holiday season. More information on those and more tomorrow at 6 PM PST on Nintendo’s E3 page. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – Mirror of Fate! Epic Mickey – Power of Illusion! Kingdom Hearts!

Lego City? Weird thing to potentially go out on. GTA-esque Lego game. I am thoroughly confused. Whoever decided that your Navi-esque person should have a Southern accdent needs to be fired and shot. Just saying. It looks pretty clever, hope it’s up to the standards of, say, Lego Batman and all that. Also dude just tackled a clown, yeah! Up yours, painted entertainer of children! Lego Mario pipe? That better be in the final game. Also a portable version coming to 3DS. Different than the Wii U version.

Ubisoft stuff! I heard their conference was pretty much all about Wii U. Just Dance 4. I’m convinced that these games are only not awkward if you’re absolutely shit-faced drunk or alone. Zombi U footage! Part of me misses when it was a silly alien-invasion game, but this looks cool as hell. Scan the environment, loot items, use your sniper rifle with the gamepad. Hack doors, too! This looks promising, really can’t wait for it. And you can zombify yourself with the camera. Silly. Reggie is loving this. More miscellaneous game footage! Assassin’s Creed! Rabbids Land, meh. More fitness. Rayman Legends! Random Sports Connection game. Avengers: Battle for Earth.

Exclusive content online at Nintendo’s E3 page, apparently. “NintendoLand”? All of the franchises coming together in a theme park? So it’s like WiiSports. Probably a bundle game. Brings together twelve attractions, five available for play at E3. Legend of Zelda, DKC, Animal Crossing, and Luigi’s Mansion-themed ones. Also a ninja throwing-star game, seems to be similar to the demo from E3 last year. … Why doesn’t a real Nintendo theme park exist? That nonsense would print money. Also, on a completely unrelated note, I want another Namco Museum in the style of… Volume 2? Whichever had an actual museum you could go through. More asymmetric gameplay examples; using Luigi’s Ghost Mansion to show it. Maybe this is the ‘Boo’ game on the Miiverse? Wii U gamepad-user plays as a ghost. Wii remote rumbles when ghost gets near. Shine a flashlight on the ghost in order to kill it. Ghost can attack people, causing them to faint. People can be revived by shining a flashlight on them. This actually looks pretty fun if you had enough people for it. Wii U release date: Holiday 2012. Nothing more specific, nothing about the price. Ended the conference with a NintendoLand fireworks show, classy.

And the show seems to be wrapping up. I’m surprised we didn’t hear anything about the Nintendo Network and am pretty disappointed that we didn’t find out anything about a new F-Zero or Star Fox or something. Pikmin 3 has me going into a sort of rabid fanboy mode and Zombi U looks pretty damn fun. And that wraps it up for me, I’ll be back with Kirby’s Super Star tomorrow and Draven on Thursday. As always, thanks for reading and have a good’un.

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