Grass Pants Covers E3!

I’ve been kind of busy today, but I will be watching all of the press conferences and giving my opinions for E3 2012. Unfortunately, I’m not important/wealthy enough (flights are expensive) to be on-site, so I won’t be able to give you fine folks any hands on impressions.

Due to this, Draven impressions have a chance to be pushed back until Thursday, depending on how much I have to say about Nintendo’s conference on Tuesday. On with the thoughts and opinions!


Microsoft unveils a new Halo game at the very start. Can’t say I’m surprised, but I was kind of hoping for some new IP. Also can’t say I’m too excited; I’ve never been too big of a Halo fan. It admitted looks pretty good. It reminds me more of Metroid Prime than Halo, to be perfectly honest.

XBOX is number one console worldwide? Three guys clap and someone gives a half-assed cheer.

I should probably say this is less of a live (or not-so-live) blog and more of a “This is interesting, here are my thoughts.” Because I have nothing to say about sports games. New Fable looks… decent. Nothing spectacular, though.

New Gears of War. Also not surprising, but more interesting than Halo I guess. Let’s see how the trailer is. … Turns out it’s kind of obnoxious.

Cripes, so much non-gaming stuff. Glad I didn’t do the Drunken Moogle’s E3 drinking game or I’d be dead by now. Also, Nike Training? Are you joking? I get that you’re trying to get into the casual market, but… You’ve shown three real games, one of which likely isn’t exclusive (I skipped the Splinter Cell bit for the most part); you also threw out some sports and racing games. Now it’s pseudo-gaming or nothing.

SmartGlass seems pretty cool. The Sherlock Holmes example is nifty and the Game of Thrones example is really cool. Also, hearing him have to use the voice commands twice is silly. Inter Explorer for Xbox is unfortunate. How long are they going to spend rambling about SmartGlass?

New Tomb Raider ceases to impress me. The series needs to go away, really.

Oh snap, new IPs! Not entirely sure how to feel about Ascend. Feels like another God of War-esque spectacle fighter. The art doesn’t do it for me at all; everything looks bland. Getting a Shadow of the Colossus vibe from climbing on the giant, though.

Resident Evil 6 was a given, especially since it’s coming out later this year.

And the rest of the conference was… pretty bland. I’m reading a liveblog post while watching to see what is pretty much filler.

So yeah, Microsoft’s conference was… pretty boring. We got what we expected (new Halo and Gears of War) as well as some other stuff like Ascend, but… Nothing was too terribly exciting. The non-gaming talk was pretty awkward, too.


New Dead Space shows up in the ‘intro’ reel. I was just talking about that last night, what a coincidence.

“We don’t stop creating when the game is ready.” I could go on a rant about DLC, but I’ll save that for a Grass Pants Muses.

Oh snap, we get to see Isaac’s face! I’m sad he looks like a generic white guy shooter protagonist. Dead Space with co-op? Interesting, but I feel like it would take away some of the horror, turning it into a futuristic version of the later RE games. I don’t agree that it’s going to be spine-tingling. First: There’s two people, which takes away the primal fear of isolation in a hostile environment. And they’re chatting like nothing’s happening, throwing banter back and forth. Also, if you’re going to showcase a ‘spine-tingling game,’ then don’t make your trailer with pounding generic rock and blazing guns. Dead Space has officially fallen into the realm of action-horror.

And sports game time. My interest is gone.

Maxis talking shit about Farmville in the intro to Sim City Social? I like it. Bonus points if this ends up being very much like Farmville. Hypocrisy is amusing. As well as a new (real) Sim City. I unfortunately haven’t played Sim City since Sim City 2000, so I can’t say if this is a good or bad step for the series. I’m more of a Civilization fan, really.

Surprised to see Battlefield 3 here. Sad to not see a Battlefield 2142 sequel. 1.6 trillion bullets fired. I’m curious to know the accuracy. Battlefield 3 Premium. Subscription-based things giving exclusive weapons seems pretty awful. Also, Armored Kill is a dumb title, but Endgame and Aftermath sound pretty cool. Wait, is Premium subscription-based or is it a one-time cost?

Oi, The Old Republic. I wish I knew what he was talking about so I could comment on it. Also good lord that clip with the UI was horrible and cluttered and scared me. I’m sad that I have so little to say about this bit.

Medal of Honor! … I’ve never played this series! Anyone care to tell me what sets it apart from the other modern military shooters? I mean aside from the eye-searingly-bright light. Some of the UI things look interesting. I wonder if, say, kicking the door down would be different than using a shotgun to blow the lock/handle off? Also, why do the cameras spend so much time on the vaguely interested guy instead of the full-screen footage? And the above-view of the vaguely interested guy. Also, throwing Linkin Park into your trailers is a really good way for me to mute the stream and not buy your product.

More sports! More sports with cross-platform connectivity! I’m actually pretty okay with that. UFC! Well alright then, I guess. Cool if you like it. Maybe? Cripes, this is boring as sin. UFC guy looks awkward as hell, too.

I will be completely honest: I zoned out during the Need For Speed thing.

Hey, Crytek! I have never played Crysis, but the concept art for (what I believe to be) Crysis 3 seems to be a robot fighting other robots, so I’m okay with this. Also, damn this thing is pretty.

EA’s conference was reasonably interesting. At least they didn’t talk about non-gaming stuff for half the bloody thing.

I will be taking a break from Ubisoft’s conference until a bit later today. Thanks for reading, dealing with the lack of a post on Friday, and have a good’un.

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